


The Five Stages

by Demon_Apostle



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Acceptance, Anger, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bargaining, Denial, Depression, Five Stages of Grief, Fluff and Angst, Hanzo needs a Hug, Implied Jesse McCree/Hanzo Shimada, M/M, Minor Character Death, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-10-06 12:16:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10334447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demon_Apostle/pseuds/Demon_Apostle
Summary: Hanzo Shimada refuses to go through the final stage.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Shit summary is shit, and here I am, writing this at midnight and wondering if it's been done before. Probably has.
> 
> I really need to stop hurting Hanzo so much.
> 
> I own nothing.

**Denial**

 

There were moments in Hanzo Shimada's life where he had felt a brief sense of denial. The first came when his mother died, an event that left the eight year old boy who didn't even know what denial was shaken with unshed tears. Hanzo had refused to believe it at first, that his mother, as proud and caring as she was, had been taken before he knew what was happening. The young boy could only stand in silence when he had been told the information, not at all concerned about Genji who had been crying the entire time and calling for their mother. Hanzo's father did nothing to quell the young child's tears, the perfect picture of stoicism throughout all of it. The oldest Shimada son wondered how his father could just stand there and say nothing while his wife was being taken away, and Hanzo tried to say something. He could only utter a small  _ why  _ to his father, not at all understanding the concept of death just yet. The man said nothing in reply, and Hanzo remained in denial about his mother's death until a month had passed. After that, he spent the entire night crying into his pillow, hoping to never go through the feeling of losing someone again.

 

His next moment of denial came when Hanzo was nineteen. Genji hadn't made it home, and he was beginning to worry that his brother was off sleeping with more strangers. He later found out that Genji had been taken by a rival family after talking with one of the people his brother associated with who had watched a man take Genji away and did nothing, thinking he was a Shimada bodyguard. It was at that moment that the denial began to stir within, and Hanzo spent an entire day gathering intel before he managed to track Genji to a small warehouse. The guards were no match for a brother driven by anger and fear, and Hanzo managed to procure the younger Shimada in under an hour. He may have scolded Genji harshly after the whole fiasco, but at least Hanzo wouldn't have to go through the same thing he did with their mother.

 

That didn't last long, however, and the elder Shimada's actions would make him stay in denial years after the deed is done. Hanzo had taken Genji's life, and all he could do was stare at the blood on his person as he repeated that one single question he had asked his father all those years ago:  _ why? _ The denial Hanzo felt that time was heavy and thick, choking him at every waking moment. Even after he left the clan, that denial stayed until that fateful day in Hanamura where he briefly thought the heavy feeling he had carried for so long was finally gone.

 

Even then, Hanzo still felt that choking denial because he knew death was absolute.

 

His mother no longer walked the Earth, why would his brother?

 

**Anger**

 

If there was one emotion Hanzo Shimada knew very well, it was anger. It was like an old friend for the man, one who would come back time after time even though they weren't exactly welcomed. It was one of the few emotions Hanzo was allowed to show, and it was one he was good at letting out. The man accomplished much when he let his anger take over, using it as fuel to take down whoever stood in his way.

 

Even if that included his own family.

 

At the time, Hanzo was angry at those related by blood. He was angry because they treated him like a pawn. He was angry because they never asked his opinion. He was angry because they were never satisfied with his results.

 

Hanzo was angry because Genji never seemed to care.

 

His brother was always off in his own little world, not caring about what the elder Shimada heir had to go through to ensure that they had a future. Finally, Hanzo couldn't take anymore, and he let his anger win him over.

 

Rage and hate were all he knew for a long time, even after he killed Genji and left his clan. Hanzo had never let go of that anger, and it only became more pronounced as the years dragged on. The only difference was that the more time that passed, the angrier the man became with himself.

 

Once more, all Hanzo could ask was that one simple question of  _ why? _

 

**Bargaining**

 

Making deals was something Hanzo liked to think he was a professional at. He had been raised with knowledge pertaining to such a skill, and therefore, he had the means to bargain with just about anyone using any method.

 

Hanzo knew how, but that didn't mean he tried to make deals very often.

 

He was more of a ‘my way or no way’ type of man. However, no one seemed to understand the concept which would promptly lead to them being taken care of. Of course, Hanzo would experience the same thing because as the old saying went:  _ the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.  _ His family held the same ideals, and there was no use in Hanzo bargaining with them to make his life just a little bit easier. Genji didn't even want to bother making deals with any of them, his brother included, and he decided he'd do his own thing without anyone's permission.

 

He's the reason Hanzo started getting into bargaining more, only instead of actual people, it was with the gods.

 

His first bargain happened after he had struck the killing blow on Genji, the elder Shimada pleading with whoever was willing to listen. That plea turned into him asking them to take his life instead, that he'll never raise a hand against his brother ever again if he just comes out alive.

 

That bargain turned out to be a bust at the time, but Hanzo continued making more throughout the years he was on the run. Most of them were asking those listening to let him try and find redemption for just one more day. There were a few times he didn't ask, some almost ending with his life being taken by an enemy, but he continued asking for many years, trying to make the same bargain over and over.

 

_ Just let me have one more day. Take my arms, take my soul, but let me have one more. _

 

**Depression**

 

Like anger, depression was another old friend for Hanzo. He knew it well, even though the man tried almost every day to act like it wasn't there. Hanzo had thought he was stronger than depression, thought he could overcome it like he did everything else. He turned out to be sorely mistaken when his inner demons still managed to crawl through the cracks of his psyche when Hanzo least expected it. When they did, the demons came in droves, whispering in the elder Shimada's ears about his mistakes and why he's such a failure. So many times they told Hanzo he should just stop trying, but he always pushed them back until he was sure they were gone.

 

Gone, but not destroyed, and the man faced his depression almost every day. There were far too many times where his psyche almost got him killed, where an enemy took the offered chance when Hanzo's defenses were lowered just enough, and all he wanted to do was make it stop. The elder Shimada wanted to drive out the demons for good, but they always came back no matter what.

 

It was at least a comfort to find out Hanzo wasn't alone in his depression. Overwatch housed a number of characters that had their own demons to contend with, one of them being an honest-to-god cowboy who won over Hanzo's heart that he thought had long since frozen and died. McCree proved him wrong on multiple occasions, even during the moments where he was contending with his own bouts of depression. The cowboy showed that he trusted the older man enough to confide in him when his own demons started their usual whispering, and it helped on the days Hanzo fought against his own.

 

Depression was definitely something that had it's claws sunk deep into the elder Shimada, but he found that it wasn't so bad to deal with when McCree was there to help him fight the demons.

 

**Acceptance**

 

Hanzo Shimada had heard of the five stages of grief, had known he was living with the first four every day of his life. The last one, however, the man had known he would never attain. Acceptance wasn't a step Hanzo was about to take, not after what he did. At most, the only acceptance the elder Shimada thought he would ever find was during his death where he would welcome whatever eternal damnation Hanzo would be stuck with. His death never came, and he wasn't about to accept anything a ghost from his past was saying.

 

Even McCree, no matter how sweet or lovable he was, would never get the older man to accept anything, not after what he did. Hanzo felt he deserved whatever hell was waiting for him, and he refused to accept any form of forgiveness his brother offered. The elder Shimada was already functioning on nearly thirty years of torment and regrets, he shouldn't have to get rid of it all just because some possible imposter told him sweet nothings and conjured fantasies of a life without pain. McCree even tried to aid in those fantasies, telling Hanzo he didn't need to punish himself anymore despite the evidence of his mistakes walking around the Gibraltar base.

 

It took another shock to his system before the elder Shimada even considered acceptance an option.

 

A mission had gone awry, Talon proving to be far more prepared than usual the moment Overwatch agents showed up. The battle was long and arduous, the fight dragging on for far too many hours. The sun was low, and they were all ready to collapse in exhaustion when Hanzo was given a reason to believe in the cyborg claiming to be his brother.

 

Widowmaker was a good shot, everyone knew this, and she managed to fatally injure Genji by shooting him through what remained of his stomach. The impact was enough to down the man, and it was all the incentive for Hanzo to take out the enemies despite his tired state. Widowmaker was first on his list, and he managed to get a few lucky shots on her, damaging both her scope and her visor. The few wounds he gave her were an added bonus, and that was enough of a boost that allowed him to continue taking out Talon agents. In the end, Overwatch barely won the battle, and they all returned to Gibraltar injured and exhausted.

 

Hanzo stayed by his brother's side most of the time after they returned, sitting by the cot as Genji recovered with help from Angela. It gave the elder Shimada a chance to think, and by the time the younger man was released from the infirmary, Hanzo had reached his verdict. With a little push from McCree, the older man not only accepted that it truly was his brother standing before him, talking and laughing (even meditating) with others, he also accepted the forgiveness given to him by Genji. As his brother had told him when they reunited, he accepted what he is, now Hanzo has also come to terms with how everything turned out.

 

It may have taken him a little over thirty years to reach acceptance, but the elder Shimada has finally gone through all five stages.

 

Better late than never.

**Author's Note:**

> So there wasn't much McHanzo going on, and that saddens me a bit because now I'm upset by my own story.
> 
> I have problems.


End file.
